SS2006: Script Post

[Chance_away_in_the_field]

Collaborative Ideas pitch towards a Sci-fi script, Please note this is for ideas and discussions only relating to the script. (NO FAN FILMS!!!)

[Kigo]

knocked this up this afternoon
didn't finish, just had a quick idea and rolled with it. tried to avoid any heavy fx or anything.
have placed notes at the end on how i saw it finishing. The problem with anything 'sci-fi' is that if it is done bad it will look 10 times worses than a badly done normal film!
Excuse any mistakes and names...and feel free to rip it apart!

Ext. Barren Waste land

Joe stands and surveys the deserted space before him. A cold wind blows, but Joe is protected his poncho and the heavy pants and boots he wears. Beyond the desert lies the city walls, encompassing the city itself, a shining light in this hollow world.

Joe begins to walk. As his feet meet with the ground, sand and dust are lifted into the air.

Narration (Joe)
Since the great bomb was dropped the world has changed. The city is the only safe haven from death, but outlanders aren?t welcome past the great wall. From time to time we hear the hollow sounds of the helicopters as the hunters come to take us away to be slaves beneath the city. But this is our territory and only the foolish get caught.

They say that there is an underground movement in the city where outsiders can live out of reach of harm. But to get there you must first breach the city walls, a task many have tried and failed. A task I now find before me.

Voice (from behind Joe)
Joe, wait!

Joe stops walking and turns around to see Amy, his partner, running towards him. Joe drops his head in anticipation of the conversion he is about to have. Amy stops in front of Joe and looks at him, a hint of tears in her eyes.

Amy
Why are you doing this, Joe?

Joe
Amy, don?t. You know I have to do this. For Rebecca, I must.

Joe goes to turn but Amy grabs his arm, stopping him.

Amy
Wait. There?s no guarantee that even if you do make it to the city that they will have the medicine to help her.

Joe looks deep into her eyes, and she knows he can?t be swayed.

Joe
I have to try.

Amy
(Reluctantly submitting)
I know.

Joe stretches out and takes her in his arms.

Amy
(ready to cry)
Please?come back.

Joe tips his head and kisses Amy.

Joe
I love you.

They hug tightly. Joe pulls away, leaving Amy alone in the desert.

Amy
(whispers)
Be careful?

Joe moves forward with determination across the wasteland as Amy watches him disappear towards the city.

Cut to black.

Cut to:

Ext. Small deserted town, now home to refugees.
Amy runs through the streets to her home. She is breathing heavy and almost chanting the word no as she goes. As she approaches her home there is a small rabble gathered at the door. They turn to look at her as she approaches. Parting them aside she enters the house where a doctor holds her back.

Doctor
There was nothing we could do for her.

Amy
(trying to reach past the doctor)
No?Rebecca?no?

We see past them both to a bed where Rebecca lies dead. A man crouches beside the bed and draws a blanket across her head. Amy screams out as he does this.

Amy
Noooo!

Cut to:

Ext. Campsite, Night.
Joe suddenly wakes up from a dream, shouting as he does.

Joe
No!

He catches his breath, slowing his heart rate down. Looking around he gathers his bearing. The campsite is nothing more than a few makeshift shelters surrounding an oil-drum. It?s night and the fire in the drum provides the only light. A man stands over this fire keeping him-self warm. Joe asks the man a question.

Joe
How long ?till dawn?

The man slowly turns and looks at Joe. A few seconds later he turns back to the drum and answers.

Man
A few hours yet, I reckon.

Joe starts to pack up his things.

Joe
Is there much Hunter activity in this area?

Man
(laughs quietly)
City boy, eh? It?s a fruitless venture. Outlanders never survive in the city.

Joe
Then it?s a good job I won?t be staying long.

The Man turns around, astonished by what he has heard, he recognises the passion behind Joe?s voice.

Man
You?re a man of commitment, I see. You?ll need that conviction if you?re to make it back to whoever it is you love alive. And you?ll need some help.

Joe stands up and hitches on his backpack.

Joe
From you?

Man
(laughs)
Me? No. From the Scavenger.

Cut to:
Ext. Wasteland, Early Morning
Joe and the Man make their way hastily across the land. The man explains as he goes.

Joe
Who is this Scavenger?

Man
The city walls are nigh impenetrable. I should know, I tried to breach them several times. The only time I ever made it in was with the Scavenger?s help. He?s the man who can help you.

Joe
What can he do to help me?

Man
The likelihood of you entering the City without a fight is practically zero. You?re going to need some firepower. The Scavenger can provide this for you.

Joe
But I have nothing to trade.

Man
For men of conviction it cost nothing. If you get out alive you just return the weapons to him. Men with death wishes have to pay for the privilege. The Scavenger may be a ruthless thief, but he is not without compassion.

The two continue on their trail.


Rest of Plot outline:

Scavenger gives him weapons to get inside.
Man and Joe get to city walls. As Joe makes his assault Man shoots him in the back, he is working for the city.
As Joe dies he sees his daughter reaching out for him, as she fades Joe dies.

[andyblaa]

As posted in the main topic:

In brief, my idea is as follows:
Four soldiers, after being sent on reconaisance into the desert of a newly-habitable planet, are seperated from their unit. There is the battle weary and slighty shellshocked Captain, a recently demoted female Lieutenant, a radio operator with medical training and a young Private. While awaiting pickup, after receiving no further confirmation from their platoon, they have to decide whether to head back to base camp or stay in the desert with the fear of their rations running out.
(Now here is where the story branches off!)
Either, The Lieutenant begins killing the other soldiers, with the thought that once they're dead she can somehow regain her former rank of Captain by arriving back at base after some kind of ordeal with the local aliens. Although on arrival back at basecamp, she finds the whole platoon has been slaughtered..and she is all alone....
(OR...)
The soldiers are gradually killed one-by-one by the inhabitants of the planet. It may be that the inhabitants are invisible, or possibly take over the body of one of the soldiers who then murders the others. This would work well with the young Private being 'possessed'. Eventually, the young Private is left all alone when the alien has left his body, and can't believe what has happened. A doorway/portal/cave etc. then opens up in front of him. He was being seperated from the others because fo some reason the Aliens need him to finally be able to take physical form and invade the Earth...

Both ideas would have quite downbeat endings, similar to a lot of the old Outer Limits episodes. This kind of ending is much more interesting to me and preferable over the all-tied-up, happy Hollywood endings usually seen.

Providing we could find a decent barren, dusty/sandy location, the main challenge would be creating the atmosphere of fear of being in a huge desert but really having nowhere to run to.

[emjen]

even though I didn't really like Kigo's script, I like the idea of a certain belief amongst a group of people that a certain wall, or rock, or hill, or cloud, tree, sea or person holds some kind of opening towards a higher place.

England has beautiful scenery, hills and coastlines, you should try to use them.

Or someone finds a tree and think that it was THE tree in the garden of Eden. Being a desillusional man that he is, he finds comfort in finding the tree. People talk about him being a crazy man, the man becomes a tourist attraction, talking to an imaginary snake and whatnot, but the people dont realize that the man has already found h?s eden.

Just thought of that, but I actually like it.

[Vlad the Impaler]

Ok, this is a bit like saw and maybe is a bit sick ... but...!

We see a man and a woman walking down a road after leaving a pub, they act very friendly - the man asks a passer by to take a photo of them on a poloroid camera.

They are still laughing and carrying on, suddenly the man snaps and turns on the woman, drugging her.

The camera fades in to the sound of dripping. We are in a long wide room, in the centre of which is an old victorian bath tub. It is surrounded by a curtain of squares linked together.

We close in on the woman, she is tied down, with weights in the tub - which contains a clear liquid. Her feet are bound with thick rope and attached to her wrist is some kind of ignitor - The liquid in the bathtub is some kind of flammable liquid.

The woman manages to focus, and looks around her. The curtain of squares is in fact made up of linked poloroid photos - each one shows the person taken with the man. Next to each one, is how they chose to go drowned or burnt bodies. She pans accross, and notices her picture. There is a gap in the linked photos, next to hers.

Suddenly, a mouth appears in the gap. The man explains that he is a scientist - he explains that the bath she is in is full of flammable liquid, and she has an ignitor attached to her hand which could end the whole thing in a second.

He tugs on the rope around her feet, and she sinks further into the bath, now up to her chin. He explains more, on how the brain deals with these situations - he is a very intelligent man. He tugs the rope even further, the girl is submersed under the water. Her eyes are open and we see bubbles of air coming from her mouth. She has to choose whether to drown, or to ignite the liquid around her. The camera fades out, as we see her glance down to the ignition. We don't see her choice.


Copyright me! A bit sick like... :

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ January 17, 2006 06:00 PM: Message edited by: Rob.. ]</font>

[Vlad the Impaler]

sorry, just realised that its not sci-fi... oops!

[miker]

Originally posted by Rob..:
sorry, just realised that its not sci-fi... oops!

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">the woman is a timetraveller tapped into the power of VALIS and rescues herself. evil scientist reveals himself to be the last black dragon and a huge fight ensues. the woman uses divine heat and light to produce a change which puts time back to where her first polaroid was snapped. she experiences deja vu and alters her future.

[emjen]

Rob, the thing wrong with the idea that it's just a situation, it's not a story.

And yes, its a bit like saw.

[assyrix]

Floppy-eared 1930s archaeologist Jar Jar Jones unearths a number of alien artefacts on an ancient Roman excavation site in East Grimsby. One of these is a can opener as well as a portal to Middle Perth (Murray Street, to be exact). Jones passes through the dimensional rift by accident while trying to open a can of beans and is trying to figure out how to get back to England, only to realise that he has brought something with him from the other side...

The only difficulty I can see with this is shooting on location in Perth. Hwoever, I can contribute 24,000 Nectar points for a plane ticket.

[miker]

Originally posted by assyrix:
Floppy-eared 1930s archaeologist Jar Jar Jones unearths a number of alien artefacts on an ancient Roman excavation site in East Grimsby. One of these is a can opener as well as a portal to Middle Perth (Murray Street, to be exact). Jones passes through the dimensional rift by accident while trying to open a can of beans and is trying to figure out how to get back to England, only to realise that he has brought something with him from the other side...

The only difficulty I can see with this is shooting on location in Perth. Hwoever, I can contribute 24,000 Nectar points for a plane ticket.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">You may be being facetious but I quite like this idea. I'm all for homage and in-jokes.

Perth, UK (Nr. Dundee).

69,105 leaves on the ground ...